Instrumental music is powerful. It has the ability to move people emotionally. Even without words, music can communicate joy, sadness, anger, confusion, and many other sentiments. By using instruments of different textures and by crafting an interesting chord progression, the composer is able to take the listener on a journey through the gamut of human emotion. When a well-crafted lyric is added, a song’s potential for communication increases exponentially. In the introduction of a song, a glimpse of the theme is given, and the style is set. Ideas can be introduced in the first verse, summarized in the chorus, expounded upon in the second verse, and given a new twist in the bridge. When the song is finished, the listener is left with the hook, which is the theme that was restated so often that it remains with the listener long after the rest of the song fades from memory. My life has been a song. The song continues to be written. The composer of this work is very skilled at crafting masterpieces. I am, at the same time, the performer and the listener. However, I am quite aware that I am not the composer. In the introduction to my life, an important theme was presented. As a child, my mother would place a radio under my crib every evening. I believe that this had a significant impact on my development. In those early months of my life, it seems that music was implanted in my soul. By the age of four, I was playing the drums. I remember being taken to a drum teacher, who was impressed with my ability, but wouldn’t teach me because I had not yet learned to read and write.

At age five, I performed in public for the first time. I played Silent Night on the organ for our Kindergarten Christmas recital. I remember being, at once, apprehensive and enthusiastic about performing for an audience. These conflicting emotions still present themselves as I continue to perform. The stage was set during the introduction of my life. Music would become a significant ingredient in my identity.

In the first verse of my life’s song, an extremely significant event occurred. On October 26, 1975, my father died. I had seen it coming for some time. He had many health problems, and had already suffered multiple heart attacks. He also suffered from an illness called pneumoconiosis, which is commonly referred to as black lung disease. He contracted this disease while working in the coal mines as a young man. In addition to these health problems, he smoked three packs of cigarettes each day. The combination of these factors made his early death inevitable. As a boy of twelve, I knew that. I remember the day that he entered the hospital for the last time. We lived on the second floor of a duplex apartment building in Wildwood, New Jersey. He had to climb the stairs to our apartment in stages, resting for about five minutes after every three steps. Even then, he couldn’t make it to the top, and my mother knew that it was time to take him to the hospital. I think I knew that day that he would never leave the hospital. My thirteenth birthday was about a week later. I remember seeing my dad on that day. He was on a respirator and barely conscious. My mother told him it was my birthday. He couldn’t remember. I knew at that moment that, in a significant way, I had already lost my father. He died nine days later. This event has continued to shape me to this day. I believe that it causes me to love fatherhood. I love being a dad, and I want to be with my children for a long time. This event has also taught me to value people. I have learned that no one is promised tomorrow. Each moment with loved ones is precious.

My father’s death was the most significant event that occurred during the first verse of my life. Yet, the musical ability that was implanted in the introduction also continued to develop during this time. I played in many bands in high school and was playing professionally in night clubs at the age of eighteen. I earned a good living at music. Yet, I felt that there was something lacking in my life. I knew that I was created for some special purpose, but I felt that I was wandering aimlessly. There had to be more to life than just being a good musician.

In a song, tension is created in the verse and is relieved in the chorus. If the composer is skilled, this tension and relief will deeply affect the listener. Often, when a song reaches the chorus, the listener feels that he has come home. The chorus seems to be the place to which the introduction and verse were leading. In the chorus of my life, I met the Composer. In December of 1982, I entered into a personal relationship with God. I had been raised as a Catholic, but I was never aware that I could have a vibrant, meaningful relationship with the same Jesus that I read about in the Bible. In 1982, I was living in Colorado. During a particularly difficult period, a friend invited me to attend his church. I had never attended a church that wasn’t Catholic, yet, for some reason, I felt compelled to go. At that church service, I heard some amazing truths. I learned that I didn’t have to earn my way to heaven. I learned that I could never be good enough to get there. I learned that Jesus had provided a way for me to go to heaven, independent of my performance. Suddenly, many of the things I had learned as a Catholic made sense. I was told in Catholic school that Jesus died to pay for our sins. Now I could see that, since He paid it all, there was nothing left for me to pay. It clicked. He paid for each of my sins. All that was required of me was to accept this payment on my behalf. I did so eagerly. The chorus rang out loudly. I was changed forever. I experienced joy and peace that remain to this day. The tension created in the first verse was resolved. I was home. I knew my purpose in life. The wandering was over.

Interestingly, the theme presented in the introduction of my life reappeared in the chorus. I immediately became involved in church music. I discovered a great purpose for music. Perhaps, it is the primary and greatest purpose for music. Music can be used to communicate with God. This communication is called worship. What an incredible gift I had been given. Not only did I understand that Jesus died for me, but I also understood that He had been preparing me to serve Him since I was an infant. He was the one who inspired my mother to place the radio under my crib. He had guided my life every step of the way. Another tension was released in the chorus of my life. I had a relationship with my Father again. This Heavenly Father had been with me all along, but now I was aware of His guidance, and I was able to have a loving relationship with Him. It was this Heavenly Father that helped me cope with the death of my natural father. Yes, I had come home. A chorus is repeated throughout a song. Each time, it becomes more familiar to the listener. The listener begins to sing along with it. The chorus of my life was heard for the first time in December of 1982, but it has been repeated many times ever since. It tells me and all others who listen that I am home. It sings that I am accepted and loved by God, my Father.

Often, the second verse of a song expounds on the chorus and the first verse. Ideas are presented in light of the resolution that occurred in the chorus. The same is true of my life. The second verse was, for me, a new life. Two years after my relationship with God began, another relationship was born. I met my wife, Kim, at the home of a mutual friend. After meeting her, I knew that I wanted to date her. I tried several times to call for a date, but I was unsuccessful. Finally, on about the fifth attempt, I managed to get a date with her. A few weeks after that first date, I proposed. At that time, I was twenty years old and Kim was seventeen. We were married less than a year later. Next June we will celebrate our fifteenth wedding anniversary. Many people in today’s society would advise against marrying at such young ages. Yet, I must say that even marriages between young people can work if the couple is committed to each other and to God. My marriage has been an awesome learning experience. Because my wife and I have decided that divorce is never an option for us, we have created a situation where differences must be worked out. I have learned much about my own strengths and weaknesses as I see myself reflected in Kim’s life. I have also gained a deeper understanding of the love that God has for me. He provides and cares for me in the same way that a husband does his wife. Kim and I have been through many experiences in the last fifteen years. I have experienced some of the best and worst moments of my life with her. She is my best friend. I cannot imagine life without her. She is a part of me.

Even in this second verse, the song’s introduction rings out. On June 9, 1984, I sang a song to my wife at our wedding ceremony. It was a song that I had written for her, and that she had never heard before. In this instance, the apprehension about performing was greater than I had ever experienced before. The words to this song were so meaningful to me that I was sure that I would not be able to sing them without crying. I remember consciously attempting to pretend that they were just words, without meaning. I wanted to perform the song well, so that all could hear it. My mental exercise worked, and I managed to keep my eyes dry. It’s possible that they were the only dry eyes in the church.

Another significant event in the second verse was the birth of our first child. On February 24, 1989, Kim gave birth to a beautiful little girl. I was present in the delivery room, holding my wife’s hand, as Charissa entered the world. I will never forget that day. I experienced a new kind of love when I met Charissa. Suddenly, there was this person. I had only known her a short time, yet I loved her so much. This love was so intense. I knew that, if I needed to, I would die for Charissa without a second thought. What an amazing experience! I was changed forever. I believe that I saw a glimpse of the love that God has for His children. How else could I explain what I was feeling? It was as if the love that I had for my daughter was placed in me, as if it didn’t originate with me. Once again, I was changed forever.

Music was a part of this event, as well. During Kim’s pregnancy, I created a tape of original, instrumental music. We used to play this tape and place speakers near Kim’s belly. During the birth, we played the tape. Charissa entered the world surrounded by music. One of the songs on the tape seemed to attach itself to the moment more than all the others. It was a song that I had written eight years earlier while attending college. I remember knowing on the day of Charissa’s birth that the song was written for that moment. Once again, I was aware of God’s guiding hand in my life. He was planning for the birth of my daughter at a time when I didn’t know Him or my wife. My daughter still asks me to play her song on the piano. It is a part of her, now. What an amazing scenario! The chorus of God’s love must be repeated after such a powerful second verse.

I remember thinking that I could never love another child as much as my daughter. Kim and I used to discuss that any future children would be less fortunate than Charissa. She had certainly captured the best of our love. Then, on April 8, 1993, Zachary was born. Charissa was four years old, and was in the delivery room during her brother’s birth. On that day, I met my son, and I received another great gift from God. I received a different pool of love for this little boy. A love was awakened in me when I saw Zach. I didn’t love him any more or less than I loved Charissa or Kim. I just loved him in a special way. Suddenly, my life would be incomplete if he were not a part of it. This gave me incredible insight into God’s love for all people. I often wondered how God could notice each of us and care for each of us as individuals. How could He have that much love? Now, I had found the answer. God had allowed me to share in the love that He has for each of His children. Each of my children is equally important to me. I love them both with the same intensity and would give my life for either of them at a moment’s notice. I was looking through the window of this moment into the very heart of God. Once again, the movement of the song demands that the chorus be repeated.

Not all songs have bridges. The ones that do tend to be more interesting. A bridge provides some changes, both musically and lyrically. Musically, the tempo sometimes changes and the key sometimes shifts. Lyrically, a new idea is presented, which is related to the chorus, and helps the listener to see the theme in a different light. The bridge of my life began about eight months ago. I felt a clear call from God to go back to school. I have returned to school many times in the last seventeen years, yet I still haven’t completed my first bachelor’s degree. I believe that the Lord revealed to me the reason that I had been unsuccessful eight months ago. Somewhere in my subconscious, I have felt for a long time that I would not live to a very old age. I can see, now, that my father’s death helped create this idea in my mind. I have also had some health problems in the past, which have made me uncertain about my future. As a result of this state of mind, I have tended to be a short-sighted person. I have let short term needs interfere with long term goals. As a result, I have discounted the prospects of a long, bright future for my life. Eight months ago, I realized that this type of thinking is not healthy. I realized that only God knows the number of my days. If He willed it, I could live to be 150 years old. I was being presumptuous in assuming that I would have a short life. This was a revelation to me, and I was energized. I had a great desire to go back to school, and I was confident that I would finish, this time. I want to complete my Bachelor’s degree and go on to Seminary. After I receive my Master’s degree, I want to be in the ministry on a full-time basis. In this bridge of my life, I feel that I am being prepared to proclaim the chorus of God’s love and grace to many people. Attending school at this time is one of the most significant activities I have ever undertaken. School has been difficult, at times, but I have been keenly aware of God’s provision for and blessing on this endeavor. It is a great feeling to know that one is in God’s will. The bridge is usually followed by multiple choruses. I know that I owe God much praise and worship for all that He has done in my life.

The song is not finished. In fact, it is possible that the Composer is writing a collection of songs in my life. I am eager to see His creativity expressed in future verses and choruses. When the masterpiece is completed, I hope that people will have trouble getting the hook of the song out of their minds. I think that hook is, “God loves me.”.